The Misadventures of Mile High Greg

This is an official and largely comprehensive list of things that cause me anxiety: 1. I somehow leave the shower or sink on and leave the house for an extended period of time, coming home to a flood, 2. One or both of my headlights are going to go out when I’m driving and the police will somehow find all the cocaine I have been transporting in my car, despite the fact I’ve never used or sold cocaine and I’m unsure of how I would obtain it even if I wanted it. 3. I am going to get bit by a rattlesnake while trail running or hiking. 4. Kaiser Permanente will refuse to cover the medical expenses from said bite and I will end up living in a dumpster. 5. If I ever become famous enough to publish these blog entries as a book, Kaiser Permanente will sue me over number 4. 6. That the cute, but likely straight guy I am checking out at the bar will catch me in the act. 7. That the cute, but likely straight guy I am checking out at the bar will catch me and turn out t...

Mindy Kaling is my spirit animal.  I made that decision this evening while reading her book.   I’ve sorta wanted to read her book since about noon today when I found it sitting forlornly in the 800s Dewey Decimal section of a Denver branch library.  I’ve learned this is where the humor books are kept and I always hope to luck out and find a David Sedaris title I’ve yet to read. I did find one, but I decided to save it for later.  I guess Mindy wins by default. I hope she never reads this in the fantasy version of my life where she and I become friends because I’ve watched 3.5 episodes of “The Mindy Project.” I was desperate for physical books and I’ve been unable to find most of what I intended on reading this summer outside of an e-book. I made an attempt to get all cozy with my iPad, but reading e-books still brings back traumatic memories of my online master’s program.  I feel like I’m suddenly going to need to cite and annotate any text that I read ...

Several months ago, I received a wedding invitation for two old friends of mine who met at one of my running clubs. This isn't the first time I've experienced a run-through (or run-off) wedding. I've been to lots of run clubs.  By conjecture, I should be married.  I'm not.  I believe this is horribly unfair.  I am aware I am being slightly dramatic in this sentiment.  However, my essay, my rules.    This brings up the huge (and often frustrating) difference in gay dating versus straight dating. Straight people get lots of spaces where they can meet other straight people with similar interests. This isn't to say that all straight people magically walk into a social setting or Trader Joe's or that dive bar that serves shitty PBR down the block and emerge in holy matrimony.  Plenty of straight people have had to suffer through Plenty of Shit and OkStupid.  However, the law of numbers are social structures are greatly in favor of all y'a...